Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Samantha sans Parrot

A little while later, as the train pulled into Skegness station, Samantha returned to Alan's table, without the parrot. She had a funny expression on her face as she somewhat humbly asked Alan if she could sit down again. "I'm sorry the bird was so loud. It's a noble macaw, from Brazil, you know, and they naturally screech."

Alan knew nothing about parrots, so he took her word for it..."He seems to talk just fine as well - did you teach him that?" No, not at all!" she replied, "And say, can I get some of whatever you've got there?" She was nodding to his drink. "Oh, sure, it's pineapple juice and a little vodka -  ask the barman for a 'wee grenade'..." She looked at him a second before getting up, giving Alan the impression she might have wanted him to get it for her...

After Samantha sat down again, she quickly glanced at him, then looked down at her drink smiling at something...Alan was starting to wonder what might be going on. "OK, uh, Alan, right? I feel like I need to talk to you, just because you seem like a friendly guy." Alan, who has had a rather sketchy history with women, and hasn't "been with someone" in quite a while, sipped his drink and said, "Okaaay..."

Bert

"I'm not sure how to begin this, it's kind of a long story," she began.
"Well," he said, "I'm not going anywhere for another hour or so, is that enough time?"

"Oh I suppose. Anyway, I was up at Samatha's Wild North, you know, that women's commune near Desert Point? Have you heard of it? And no, I'm not the Samatha it's named after -just a coincidence! Anyway, I was at a yoga retreat there and I was doing the downward facing dog pose. That's when Bert, the parrot, flew out of nowhere and landed on my butt. I didn't feel anything as I was deep in meditation...by the way, do you do yoga?" "Uh, no..., replied Alan." "Well, anyway, that stupid bird bit the back of my thigh and then I screeched bloody murder! This brought Samantha (the famous Samantha that anyone rarely sees!) running naked from her 'seclusion' and I was never so embarrassed in my life!"

                                                                                       --see next post!